Best strategy for a first date is to ask her questions. Just keeping asking her questions about herself. Her life, her job,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Let me tell you, the life of a C list celebrity is pretty sweet. If I want to go to an Applebee's,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Things you never thought were going to turn into something end up being the most important things in your life. You have… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I think writing for anybody helps you order your life. It helps you arrange your emotions and your thoughts and it helps… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
“...Even to me, a sufferer, 'depression' seems like a fetid load of weaselly claptrap, a cheap and easy excuse for not participating… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
“The truth is I feel bad about calling you a whore. I don't know anything about your personal life; my judgment was… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I thought I'd be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I'd do comedy or be… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Many, many people can write books. I just happen to be one of them. — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
“I do not go to church. I don’t go to Christian church or Jew church or any other church. I don’t go to church… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
My process is surprisingly straightforward. I find myself with little to do over a stretch of time and I say, "I should write children's… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
“If I have any faith at all, I guess that's it. Faith in the small love that keeps our family together.” — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Whatever expectations I had for myself, none of them have come to pass. I grew up thinking I was going to be an actor,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there's a lot of… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
By the end of the time I'm writing a book, I'm tearing my hair out and I want to go do stand-up. And then… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Kids love to be silly, they love to laugh, so I think it was natural for my kids to like the sort of books… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I am a poker player, but I am not a good poker player. My favorite game is seven card stud, but I'll play hi/lo,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
When you're writing something, and you're putting yourself out there, or you're performing and someone comes in and savages that, then of course it… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
