Best strategy for a first date is to ask her questions. Just keeping asking her questions about herself. Her life, her job,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Let me tell you, the life of a C list celebrity is pretty sweet. If I want to go to an Applebee's,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I actually don't know anyone who wants to be famous for fame's sake, at least not anyone I respect. But you need… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Twitter is about creating whatever persona you want to create and either sticking with it or changing it or evolving it or… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
With stand-up, you can be as freeform as you want to be. You can say what you want, how you want, at… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
By the end of the time I'm writing a book, I'm tearing my hair out and I want to go do stand-up.… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I'm trying to teach my children not to cry. That's the big thing. No crying. Because I think we can all agree… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I'm enough of an optimist and a patriot to believe that in U.S. you have a lot of opportunity and can do… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Many, many people can write books. I just happen to be one of them. — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
“I do not go to church. I don’t go to Christian church or Jew church or any other church. I don’t go to church… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
My process is surprisingly straightforward. I find myself with little to do over a stretch of time and I say, "I should write children's… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
“If I have any faith at all, I guess that's it. Faith in the small love that keeps our family together.” — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Whatever expectations I had for myself, none of them have come to pass. I grew up thinking I was going to be an actor,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there's a lot of… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
By the end of the time I'm writing a book, I'm tearing my hair out and I want to go do stand-up. And then… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Kids love to be silly, they love to laugh, so I think it was natural for my kids to like the sort of books… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I am a poker player, but I am not a good poker player. My favorite game is seven card stud, but I'll play hi/lo,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
When you're writing something, and you're putting yourself out there, or you're performing and someone comes in and savages that, then of course it… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
