Whenever I can’t sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I’ve been assassinated. I’ve found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I’m in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, "I did it because I'm a dirty dog."… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Let's say Twitter existed during the Civil War. We would have a better understanding of people in the Confederacy who were against slavery, people… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part of the… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
But no matter how many times we re-rank the presidents, in another 200 years, the top presidents will still be Washington and Lincoln and… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment or taste… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus - as a writer myself - I cannot comment on… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like unnamed characters… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“Toby Keith writes songs like 1993's "Should've Been a Cowboy," and what's compelling is that you can't deconstruct its message. "Should've Been a Cowboy"… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
