Last night, my wife asked if I could make a dinner for a change. I'm glad she has such a good sense… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Watched a movie with my wife last night, I was on the edge of my seat. Fat bitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the freezer last night or, as my wife likes to call it, foreplay! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Meanwhile last night on facebook another girl got engaged, must unfriend her now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My Friend dumped his GF last night. To make her feel better, I gave her company in her shower today & BITCH… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In case you're wondering, last night I had a dream that my penis got chronically depressed and decided to commit suicide. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a weird dream last night that I murdered 4 people who unfollowed me on twitter. But woke up relieved to find… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
