“I woke up on my sister's couch with a raging hangover and an urge to kill my wife.” — Gillian Flynn Copy Share Image
“Don’t kill your wife—kill your wife’s mother, and make it look like your wife did it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Should I string her up or strangle her in bed, suffocate that venomous head? Or perhaps I'll just whip her to death.… — Rod Stewart Copy Share Image
Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As I've explained to my wife many times, you have to kill your wife or mistress to get on the front page… — Julian Barnes Copy Share Image
The most likely person to kill you is your wife, but that probably won't happen. What probably will happen is a million… — Elizabeth Wurtzel Copy Share Image
Whats up with all these guys killing their wives now? Like, every couple of weeks in the news, you see that shit...guys… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
