The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow) — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by… — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
“I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.” — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in… — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
