Kettles Quotes by Simon Munnery

All men are brothers. Hence war.

— Simon Munnery

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

— Simon Munnery

Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably…

— Simon Munnery

When you look in the mirror and despair and none of your clothes seem appropriate, relax, put the kettle on. It might suit you.

— Simon Munnery

Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw.

— Simon Munnery

I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.

— Simon Munnery

Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

— Simon Munnery

Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.

— Simon Munnery

Although no man is an island, you can make quite an effective raft out of six.

— Simon Munnery

If you only ever read one book in your life ... I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut

— Simon Munnery

Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.

— Simon Munnery

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.

— Simon Munnery

I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.

— Simon Munnery

What do you get the man who has everything? Might I suggest a gravestone inscribed with the words: so what?

— Simon Munnery

The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

— Simon Munnery