If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems. — James Lileks Copy Share Image
You can imagine what the advisers are telling Junior Assad: "Your statues are much stronger than Saddam's. His were hollow, and bolted in place with inferior metal; yours are solid, and are anchored to a depth of three feet. Let… — James Lileks Copy Share Image
“So Jane was getting married. Well, more power to her. In fact, let me tighten those straps. Any word from the governor on the… — James Lileks Copy Share Image
There are three stages to a man's life. 1. He laughs at Clark Griswold. 2. He sympathizes deeply with Clark Griswold. 3. He laughs at Clark Griswold. — James Lileks Copy Share Image
Wait until France gets a hard shot in the nose. Wait until France reacts with some nasty work. They'll get a golf-clap from the… — James Lileks Copy Share Image
I’ll feel that horrible feeling in my stomach you get when you’ve gone over to the Dark Side. But I’ll be fine. That’s the… — James Lileks Copy Share Image
“If you can pick the baby up without him squirting our of your hands like a bar of soap in the shower, he's not… — James Lileks Copy Share Image
The same people who accuse America of coddling dictators are sputtering with bilious fury because we actually deposed one. — James Lileks Copy Share Image
And I don't want posture lessons from a country that spent the last 20 years flopping on its back and grabbing its ankles when… — James Lileks Copy Share Image
It takes a particularly rarified variety of idiot to look at a Jew-hating fascist with a small mustache - and decide that his opponent… — James Lileks Copy Share Image
“She was moving slowly, appearing to come no closer. Perhaps she was losing ground against the earth's rotation.” — James Lileks Copy Share Image
If you think the ’80s were dumber than the ’70s, either you weren’t there or you weren’t paying attention. — James Lileks Copy Share Image
