James Lileks

“So Jane was getting married. Well, more power to her. In fact, let me tighten those straps. Any word from the governor…

— James Lileks

There are three stages to a man's life. 1. He laughs at Clark Griswold. 2. He sympathizes deeply with Clark Griswold. 3.…

— James Lileks

Wait until France gets a hard shot in the nose. Wait until France reacts with some nasty work. They'll get a golf-clap…

— James Lileks

I’ll feel that horrible feeling in my stomach you get when you’ve gone over to the Dark Side. But I’ll be fine.…

— James Lileks

“If you can pick the baby up without him squirting our of your hands like a bar of soap in the shower,…

— James Lileks

The newspaper is a lecture. The Web is a conversation.

— James Lileks

The same people who accuse America of coddling dictators are sputtering with bilious fury because we actually deposed one.

— James Lileks

And I don't want posture lessons from a country that spent the last 20 years flopping on its back and grabbing its…

— James Lileks

It takes a particularly rarified variety of idiot to look at a Jew-hating fascist with a small mustache - and decide that…

— James Lileks

“It's always something when you let other people in your world.”

— James Lileks

“She was moving slowly, appearing to come no closer. Perhaps she was losing ground against the earth's rotation.”

— James Lileks

If you think the ’80s were dumber than the ’70s, either you weren’t there or you weren’t paying attention.

— James Lileks

“I still couldn't imagine that she was really, truly pregnant; maybe this was an hysterical pregnancy. But Sarah was never hysterical. Enthusiastic,…

— James Lileks

The worst thing about depression isn't the sense that you're accentuating the negative, it's that you're seeing things the way they really…

— James Lileks

So now we're after a constitutional amendment that defines marriage as a guy-and-gal thing. To the founders, this would have been like…

— James Lileks

When liberal celebs stammer out a litany of shopworn bleats about the administration's attempt to turn America into a theocratic prison state,…

— James Lileks

The al-Qaida cell broken up near Buffalo, N.Y., contains some citizens who also found themselves in Afghanistan, training for the Great All-Around…

— James Lileks

“It wasn't that I was tired of life, really - just my own. Other people's lives seemed perfectly worthwhile, and only the…

— James Lileks

If the "rich" were swarming into poor neighborhoods and beating the poor until they coughed up the dimes they swallowed for safekeeping,…

— James Lileks

From Day One the very existence of [Camp Bravo] has been a popcorn hull in the tender gums of the hard left.

— James Lileks

“Look. Folks. It's simple. If you have poor taste in decorating, don't go nuts in the entryway. Wait until your guests are…

— James Lileks

There's too much political hay to be made undercutting the war, and the consequences be damned. If they want to defeat the…

— James Lileks

If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of…

— James Lileks

I want to believe in intelligent design, and hence I am suspicious of anything that seems to confirm my desire to believe.

— James Lileks

I regret that after 30 years of writing columns in this market, including ten with this newspaper that I love very much,…

— James Lileks