the announcement that you are going to tell a good story (and the chuckle that precedes it) is always a dangerous opening. — Margot Asquith Copy Share Image
I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Everything was meant to wind people up [in Make It Big ]. I don't know why we had this great pleasure in… — George Michael Copy Share Image
I dislike boats," Ragnor observed, looking around. "I get vilely seasick." The turning green joke was too easy. Magnus was not going… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Everyone seems to think I'm very ladylike. That I'm very cultured and intelligent. I drink alot of Diet Coke and belch. I've… — Helena Bonham Carter Copy Share Image
At the end of the day people should remember that we are just trying to make people laugh. Some jokes work and… — Kiku Sharda Copy Share Image
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch… — Mike Epps Copy Share Image
The difficulty in the way of writing a children's play is that Barrie was born too soon. Many people must have felt… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One day... A nude guy was sunbathing on a beach... He has no clothes at all and there came this little girl… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is a sensuousness to language, there's a pace to it. There's a deliciousness to it. I do have pleasure when I'm… — Jonathan Santlofer Copy Share Image
I'm really going off of watching John Waters speak one time and I remember he just kind of talked and it was… — Kathleen Hanna Copy Share Image
My general approach to writing fiction is that you try to have as few conceptual notions as possible and you just respond… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
Surfing is kind of a good metaphor for the rest of life. The extremely good stuff - chocolate and great sex and… — Jaimal Yogis Copy Share Image
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think I have a reputation for being really serious. In interviews I use big words, but I'm just an emotional goofball.… — Darren Hayes Copy Share Image
All of comedy at some level is trial-and-error, whether it's a stand-up trying out jokes or a comedy show trying stories. — Michael Schur Copy Share Image
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes… — Eric Andre Copy Share Image
I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and… — Sacha Baron Cohen Copy Share Image
There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the… — Christina Romer Copy Share Image
Prof: what is ethics? student juan; hmmm ethics are the cousin of ducks , what can you say sir? Prof: very good… — Isay Copy Share Image
I can't cuss and tell jokes the rest of my life. I gotta say something meaningful. I gotta give something back to… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
If I was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato I… — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
I love working with older actors because number one, I can learn so much from them because they have so much experience.… — Donnie Yen Copy Share Image
I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes… — Mila Kunis Copy Share Image
Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke,… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Earlier I received a phone call from a PPI Telemarketer. So I told my 3 year old son that Santa Claus was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Where the fuck did that spider just go? An Australian summer musical featuring the hit song I swear I just killed you,… — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
My friends are people who like building cool stuff. We always have this joke about people who want to just start companies… — Mark Zuckerberg Copy Share Image
I like situational comedy when people are being completely serious and yet you can find something extremely funny, not jokes. — Bruce Robinson Copy Share Image
You've no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good… — John Krasinski Copy Share Image
![“Everything was meant to wind people up [in Make It Big ]. I don't know why we had this great pleasure in winding people up, but we really did think they would get the joke. And it backfired on us.” quote by George Michael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/451/george-michael-1332_bigs_everything-was-meant-to-wind-people-up-i_3041225.png)
