I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone… — Owen Hart Copy Share Image
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny. — Michael Caine Copy Share Image
Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a… — Dorothy Richardson Copy Share Image
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the… — Lee Trevino Copy Share Image
You know what they're doing to your Constitution? They're making a joke out of your Constitution. Love's not in your court room.… — Charles Manson Copy Share Image
Chinese: Me not come to work, me sick. Boss: When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it. Later Chinese… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I've found great virtue in two-thirds of the way into the message; right before I'm really want to nail home a point,… — Max Lucado Copy Share Image
On the Internet, Spencer Hall at Everyday Should Be Saturday is the best writer in the universe. He's very funny. They're jokes… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
I'm like a bumper car. When I did an infomercial I was fodder for every TV comedy show. I couldn't get a… — Cher Copy Share Image
They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and… — Anne Frank Copy Share Image
You know lots of criticism is written by characters who are very academic and think it is a sign you are worthless… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
It's so funny that people think I actually ran for President. I am maybe the most un-political person you're ever going to… — Alice Cooper Copy Share Image
I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones? — Samuel Beckett Copy Share Image
Levity is the lubricant of a crisis. We resort to jokes, pranks and good natured kidding to relieve tension, stress and boredom. — Wally Schirra Copy Share Image
When I don't want to go on a date with someone, I just tell them I lost my Visa and Master Card,… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
F is for friends who do stuff with out you, U is for ur alone, N is for never having any plans… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am all at once what Christ is, ' since he was what I am, and This Jack, joke, poor potsherd, '… — Gerard Manley Hopkins Copy Share Image
The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose, and his mother's mouth. Which leaves his mother with a pretty blank expression. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Sex is God's joke on the human race ... if we didn't have sex to make us ridiculous, She would have had… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
In actual fact, the female function is to explore, discover, invent, solve problems crack jokes, make music - all with love. In… — Valerie Solanas Copy Share Image
I am aware that by many persons, it is considered in the nature of a joke to to become a candidate and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Love is like a storm.It is calm and soothing.It is natural and essential.It is powerful and fulfilling and nothing can get in… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes… — Jamie Foxx Copy Share Image
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember… — Chris Cuomo Copy Share Image
If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Today is Veterans Day. Thank you to all our men and women who have served the United States armed forces. In honor… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin uses me as a laugh line in her stump speeches. If you're willing to turn me into a joke, you… — Rachel Maddow Copy Share Image
Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere. — Judd Nelson Copy Share Image
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
As for pictures and museums, that don't trouble me. The worst of going abroad is that you've always got to look at… — Margaret Oliphant Copy Share Image
![“I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember wanting to be you in grade school!"” quote by Chris Cuomo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bed/chris-cuomo-46540_always-loved-you_i-ve-always-been-a-fan-at-home-that-s-th_2136028.png)
