I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hitman: The one who kills people for money. Hitwoman: The one who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend thinks my jokes are stupid, but she still let's me put my penis inside of her. So, who's stupid now? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I said It would take too long to explain. I really meant I have no idea how it works. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Okay. - the only thing ever said by guys in Sex, Shower and Sandwitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What was the first tweet of twitter? Probably about assholes coming soon. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To the world you may be someone, but to someone you may be the world. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange that a group of very intelligent individuals combined into a political party become collectively stupid? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are more likely to be struck by lightening than women. That means no storms occur in a kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can't be a little bit unfaithful any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
