Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I have a tweet in my head and my friends doesn't retweet it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
So your name is Will, But you don't call your crotch The Willderness, then what the fuck? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
