Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have always considered myself an expert on women's liberation . In the last fifteen years ,I have given two their freedom myself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
