Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point? — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the… — Zach Braff Copy Share
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar… — Zach Braff Copy Share
When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On… — Zach Braff Copy Share
It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some… — Zach Braff Copy Share
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing… — Zach Braff Copy Share
I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would… — Zach Braff Copy Share
People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere. — Zach Braff Copy Share
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and… — Zach Braff Copy Share
I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another… — Zach Braff Copy Share
If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that… — Zach Braff Copy Share
Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and… — Zach Braff Copy Share
I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white? — Zach Braff Copy Share
