Skip to content

Thinking Quotes by Zach Braff

51 Thinking quotes by Zach Braff

All Thinking quotes Zach Braff’s page

Zach Braff jokes about how hitting a child feels like hitting an employee, and he wonders if being fake is the same as being insincere. He also shares bold opinions about history, war and even 9/11, saying some events might be inevitable. His words mix humor with surprising moral twists.

Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet

I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'

Image

I think I suffer from some mild depression.

Image

Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.

Image

Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.

Image

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

Image

I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public…

Image

I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.

Image

I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.

Image

I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

Image

I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.

Image

It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.

Image

Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really…

Image

Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for…

Image

When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so…

Image

I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever…

Image

Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I…

Image

You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can…

Image

The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is…

Image

People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not…

Image

I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since…

Image

I'm really not one to brag, but I think my job is one of the most important things someone can do with…

Image

I think we have to acknowledge that people are different and succeed at different things, first of all. Men are better than…

Image

I like to drop in on people who picked on me in high school or whatever, just out of the blue, and…

Image

I know that [Mike] Tyson talked about wanting to eat his opponent's children, but I don't think he ever had the balls…

Image

I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear…

Image

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my…

Image

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.

Image

Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work…

Image

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

Image

It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping…

Image

I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from…

Image

Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking…

Image

I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached…

Image

I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll…

Image

Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.

Image

A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity…

Image

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

Image

Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be…

Image

There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.

Image

Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

Image

Other authors on Thinking

More by Zach Braff

The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…

The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar…

When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On…

Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.

It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some…

People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing…

I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would…

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and…

I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another…

If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.

If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that…

Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and…

I never looked at bread the same way again

I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?