“Up the stairs I found an imposing headquarters, decorated with the portraits and busts of solemn, whiskered old darlings who, no doubt, bled their customers with leeches and passed on the information to alarmed small boys that self-abuse leads to… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
“Take sex, for instance.' 'What do you want me to do with it?' 'Try to be serious for a moment. Take the sex life… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Do we want blanks, asterisks and exclamation marks which people can fill in with their own imaginations, or are we prepared and strong enough… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Voting Liberal is a non-thing. Historically, it might be a good idea to have a Conservative government, because change is a good thing. But… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
No brilliance is required in law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
I try and treat my children from the age of ten months as if they were totally grown up, which I think is the… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake; all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
![“Take sex, for instance.' 'What do you want me to do with it?' 'Try to be serious for a moment. Take the sex life of our father.' [...] Even after a couple of brandies he felt extremely reluctant to discuss sex and his father. 'It's something I'd rather not think about,' he said. 'We all come into…” quote by John Mortimer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/280/john-mortimer-7362_immaculate-conceptio_take-sex-for-instance-what-do-you-want-m_4946.jpg)
