If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why... we… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
People are marvelous in their generosity, if they just know the cause is there. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A king can stand people's fighting but he can't last long if people start thinking. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it'll change. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't see why a man shouldn't pay an inheritance tax. If a Country is good enough to pay taxes to while… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. I'm not a member of any organized political party,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The high income tax come pretty near passing in the Senate. Only lacked about six votes. So it won't be long now.… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
President Coolidge said, 'I don't want the Government to go into business.' Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn't worry over… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I am a great believer in high-priced people. If a thing cost a lot it may not be any better, but it… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Well, another senator rose and said {as they always do} 'Does the gentleman yield?' They always say that - least they call… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I have often said in answer to inquiries as to how I got away with kidding some of our public men, that… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We owe more money than any Nation in the World, and we are LOWERING TAXES. When is the time to pay off… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Now these fellows in Washington wouldn't be so serious and particular if they only had to vote on what they thought was… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The good people of Dakota offered to give Calvin Coolidge a farm if he would live on it. I wouldn't advise you… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. My folks were Indian. Both my… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If you have a radio, the next three months is a good time to have it quit working. All you will hear… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You could be the World's greatest orator and if you don't say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can't kill you, it will put you out… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I have always claimed Americans didn't want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
It's getting so if a man wants to stand well socially, he can't afford to be seen with either the Democrats or… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course. — Will Rogers Copy Share
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel. — Will Rogers Copy Share
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off. — Will Rogers Copy Share
There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is… — Will Rogers Copy Share
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. — Will Rogers Copy Share
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack… — Will Rogers Copy Share
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. — Will Rogers Copy Share
Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of… — Will Rogers Copy Share
