If you have older children who avoid you like the plague, buy yourself some expensive bath salts, run a hot tub, and settle in for a long soak. Teenagers who haven't talked to you since their tenth birthday will bang… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma. — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
to balance my own checkbook each month, I simply record whatever is necessary in the following manner: '37 cents to cover embezzlement by somebody… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
If you have older children who avoid you like the plague, buy yourself some expensive bath salts, run a hot tub, and settle in… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
Never drink more than one cocktail before giving a talk. True, the drinks may relax you, but they may also slur your speech and… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
A surefire method of setting up regular communication with your kids is to get a job in an office which discourages personal phone calls.… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
Of course the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Why do you think the neighbors put up the fence? — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours. — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
My husband and I speak an ancient language called grammatical English, and the kids speak a strange dialect which is difficult to decode because… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
Take it from me: no matter how few or how many children you have, or how little or how much money you make, your… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
