No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours. — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
Take it from me: no matter how few or how many children you have, or how little or how much money you make, your expenses are going to exceed your income by approximately a hundred dollars a month. — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
to balance my own checkbook each month, I simply record whatever is necessary in the following manner: '37 cents to cover embezzlement by somebody… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
If you have older children who avoid you like the plague, buy yourself some expensive bath salts, run a hot tub, and settle in… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
Never drink more than one cocktail before giving a talk. True, the drinks may relax you, but they may also slur your speech and… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
A surefire method of setting up regular communication with your kids is to get a job in an office which discourages personal phone calls.… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
Of course the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Why do you think the neighbors put up the fence? — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours. — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
My husband and I speak an ancient language called grammatical English, and the kids speak a strange dialect which is difficult to decode because… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
Take it from me: no matter how few or how many children you have, or how little or how much money you make, your… — Teresa Bloomingdale Copy Share Image
