“Sweetie, you don't need to drive me to the brink of insanity... I'm close enough to walk!” — Comic Strip Mama Copy Share Image
“If they were afraid of him, then he must be Satan or something even worse, like maybe Sarah Palin.” — Stephani Hecht Copy Share Image
“A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt.” — Bangambiki Habyarimana Copy Share Image
“If the pen is mightier than the sword, then what is the laptop? A light saber or a life saver?” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Don't eat earwax avoid roasted cabbage and look on the bright side of life -Angela” — Christopher Paolini Copy Share Image
“As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.” — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been poor-John.” — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“Carrot started to clap. It wasn't the clap used by middlings to encourage underlings to applaud overlings. It had genuine enthusiasm behind… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart.” — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
“Why do these big old country houses always have family portraits in the dining room? Do you really want to eat with… — Elizabeth Jane Howard Copy Share Image
“Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.” — Matshona Dhliwayo Copy Share Image
“A hand closed around her arm, warm and hard, and it could possibly have been comforting if she had possessed the faintest… — Lilith Saintcrow Copy Share Image
“Is it necessary, do you think,’ he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, ‘for the… — Danielle Wood Copy Share Image
“First month honey. . .Next month pie. . .Third month. . .Get out here and work, you damn bitch, same as I.” — Karen Cecil Smith Copy Share Image
“I've always worried a lot. And frankly I'm good at it." The late Erma Bombeck, one of the funniest women ever.” — Catherine Robertson Copy Share Image
“Oh- hey, there," he said. He was shorter than me, pudgy with salt-and-pepper hair that always seemed to be in need of… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Shelly looked around the jamb again as though whatever animal that had been terrorizing her had a weapon. “That doesn’t look like… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man. In truth, I know it is a sin to be a… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“A bug lies in quiet repose; when he passed no one knows. Did he suffer, was he pained? Before he died, was… — Nikhil Sharda Copy Share Image
“However, on glimpsing in shop window realized outfit insane. Now am on bus, remember also that corset-ike nature of dress is torture… — Helen Fielding Copy Share Image
“In the midst of this hormonal gloom, however, the calvary finally arrives, over the hill, jangling its spurs, and epaulettes shining in… — Caitlin Moran Copy Share Image
“If you fall in love with a character, then you are actually falling in love with the author that wrote the character.… — Heather Dowell Copy Share Image
“Lady Margaret believed in the three D's: Discipline, Desire, and Determination. But as she listened dutifully to her new employer, hiding her… — Elizabeth Jane Howard Copy Share Image
