Today the outlandish becomes routine overnight. The humorist is trying to say that it's still outlandish. — William Zinsser Copy Share Image
If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor. — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
[Al] Franken is left-wing and funny. He's a pretty good political humorist. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
All great humorists are sad... I cannot help seeing beyond the tinsel of humour, and recognising the pitiful basis of jest -… — H. P. Lovecraft Copy Share Image
I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
By his provocations to good-natured merriment, a humorist of the first water contributes as much to the sum of happiness as the… — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
“To call such persons "humorists", a loose-fitting and ugly word, is to miss the nature of their dilemma and the dilemma of… — James Thurber Copy Share Image
Lampoon was exactly the opposite. The work was a lot of fun, but the office environment was hell. You cannot put 20… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Professional humorists and cartoonists have to go through a stage in which they have to kill their own internal editor just so… — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
Except by name, Jean Paul Friedrich Richter is little known out of Germany. The only thing connected with him, we think, that… — Thomas Carlyle Copy Share Image
I remember what J. Golden Kimball said when he came down to the stake where I was presiding. I introduced him as… — Hugh B. Brown Copy Share Image
It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us.… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I don't want to be classed as a humorist. It makes me feel guilty. I've never read a good tough quotable female… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue; they're called humorists. — Cullen Hightower Copy Share Image
Think of what would happen to us... if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record. — Thomas Lansing Masson Copy Share Image
How will I be remembered? As a technician or artist? As a humorist or a visionary? — Norman Rockwell Copy Share Image
I go in for what is known in the trade as 'light writing' and those who do that - humorists they are… — P. G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“Humorists are precisely the kinds of guys who can cut through the orgy of petty indignation that the aging baby boomers are… — David Brin Copy Share Image
Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for… — Danny Thomas Copy Share Image
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists,… — Leo Rosten Copy Share Image
Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain't never been nowhere and you ain't seen… — Irvin S. Cobb Copy Share Image
People have been telling me I'm a failure and that I'm doing it all wrong for 20 years now. Never trust anybody… — Kevin Smith Copy Share Image
I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than another man or he works… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
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