“I'm already seeing my daughter's cynical sense of humor and she's 6! I bought these shoes, and I'm thinking I'm a cool… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
“I just... I understand you might want to start dating more seriously, and that means dating someone from town. But if you're… — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
I knew a witty physician who found theology in the biliary duct, and used to affirm that if there was a disease… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
Michael Pitt is amazing. His physical comedy is extraordinary; he's so committed and so willing to play within the scenes. It makes… — Nina Arianda Copy Share Image
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
If we went by the world's definition of who I'm supposed to be because I look weird 'Well, surely, this guy can't… — Nick Vujicic Copy Share Image
“With hand gestures, you can fill in a lot of gaps, and the words thing and stuff and -ness also help: patientness… — Aimee Bender Copy Share Image
Both law and comedy are heavily focused on thought and viewing all angles. To write a good joke, you have to look… — Troy Walker Copy Share Image
“This is the sixty-nine,” I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers—two of them —on the… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as… — Mike Judge Copy Share Image
“So, you don’t drink much,” he said. “What about food?” “No, I don’t eat food. I tried it once a long time… — Mary Abshire Copy Share Image
“Once you even acknowledge that there is a line, that there are things you shouldn’t be allowed to joke about, that there… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
“When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. "Put your clothes in for a wash,"… — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
I think that it's hard for vain people to be funny. I think you can look any way you want as long… — Taran Killam Copy Share Image
Possibly the only genre that efficiently converted from TV to YouTube / Vine is sketch comedy, which has always had more to… — Hank Green Copy Share Image
You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“Perhaps it was his wife who mainly made him laugh, for there are people who can make us laugh even when they… — Javier Marías Copy Share Image
“Some people say they're afraid about dying. Noooo ... it's the fear of living totally in the moment, living fully engaged, and… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor that will be the strongest, and that… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“I hear they whip you for stealing." "Or put you in jail, or sell you into slavery, or kill you, depending on… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
Someone asked me what the key to being a good frontman was, and I think having a sense of humor about it… — Alex Turner Copy Share Image
“Miss Honey gives us a little song about each word and we all sing it together and we learn to spell it… — Roald Dahl Copy Share Image
“By some definitions I am a millennial. I was born in 1980 and entered adulthood in the early 2000s, and my transition… — Steven Barker Copy Share Image
“I like to think of this little [newspaper] column as a brassière, or do I mean brasserie? Brazier, possibly. All three! A… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
You sayis that the pie man where they say wait! what the pie man u mean the ice cream if a little… — MrCountry Copy Share Image
“They sent the shrink round yesterday. He's put me on Prozac. Prozac! He thinks I'm depressed.' 'Aren't you depressed?' 'I wasn't depressed.'… — Gavin Extence Copy Share Image
My senior year of high school, I was voted 'Wittiest.' So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing… — Barbara Park Copy Share Image
“Goodness gracious me,' exclaimed Alexia, 'what are you wearing? It looks like the unfortunate progeny of an illicit union between a pair… — Gail Carriger Copy Share Image
On 'Adam Ruins Everything' we do the broadest sketch comedy possible. We do stuff where you can see it immediately and know… — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
“And what renders him so unmarriageable?” Eloise asked. Francesca leveled a serious stare at her older sister. Eloise was mad if she… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“Believe it or not working in libraries is very similar to working on an ambulance or a fire truck. You take care… — Lori Reed Copy Share Image
You can't really do comedy if you're working with Ryan Reynolds, eh? He outplays everyone in that field, so I couldn't really… — Julian Dennison Copy Share Image
Good-humor, gay spirits, are the liberators, the sure cure for spleen and melancholy. Deeper than tears, these irradiate the tophets with their… — Amos Bronson Alcott Copy Share Image
“Lanie, you live 15 minutes away from your office and you get there at eight. Over two hours every day just to… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
For whatever reason, I think we have one type of animated movie and it's so wrong. I want to do a drama,… — Genndy Tartakovsky Copy Share Image
“Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you… — Lemony Snicket Copy Share Image
There wasn't a big tradition of comedy at Dartmouth. More than that, there wasn't really anything artsy going on in Hanover, or… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England… — Jenny Eclair Copy Share Image
A lot of stand-up comedy is embarrassing: too many idiots doing it in orange neckties against brick walls. I find most sitcoms… — Tracey Ullman Copy Share Image