My comedy isn't clean; it's just friendly. So I get asked to do a lot of clean shows. It's like, 'Oh, I… — Josh Gondelman Copy Share Image
“I started studying law, but this I could stand just for one semester. I couldn't stand more. Then I studied languages and… — George Pólya Copy Share Image
I've always said, I thought the Sex Pistols was more Music Hall than anything else - because I think that really, more… — John Lydon Copy Share Image
“I never said this was your fault, Woods. But when did you become the Angel of Drama?” Smiling, he stares at his… — Miranda Kenneally Copy Share Image
“Are you a man-whore?" I asked as the loudest group of them teetered away on their high heels. (High heels? Really? At… — Laurie Halse Anderson Copy Share Image
The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me.… — Adam Sandler Copy Share Image
Well I think comedy everywhere has lost a bit of its bite. In Canada, I can't argue with the quality, but it… — Scott Thompson Copy Share Image
“Break ups aren't fair. Why does only one person have power? We both agreed to start dating. Why do you get to… — Alyssa Rose Ivy Copy Share Image
“Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Here’s what I’d love to see: A vending machine that dispenses cats for petting on your lunch break. Instead of money, the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I'm out of the room in the next instant, like a man wanting breath, after suffocating through the horror of a burrito… — Nix Banner Copy Share Image
“I don't think of myself as being a very fun or outgoing person, but my mouth thinks it's fun. My mouth says… — Mimi Strong Copy Share Image
“It was on this day, during this terrible and wonderful run, that a thought occurred to me, a thought which has never… — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“I lowered my hands to try to save from disorder the arrangement of the tleaves and flowers; meanwhile, she was also dealing… — Italo Calvino Copy Share Image
“Sweetie, I’m not a flowers and chocolates kind of gal,” she said, leaning into him. “Well, maybe the chocolate.” “I was going… — Dianne Duvall Copy Share Image
I'm a big fan of shock value humour and I find myself being most comfortable when I make other people uncomfortable. Is… — Jason Biggs Copy Share Image
“Solemnity, I don't know what it's for. I mean, what is the point of it? The two most beautiful memorial services that… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
“Three days ago, I was fired from my job teaching at a college because one of my students bet me that you… — Sam Pink Copy Share Image
“You should really be more careful who you let put their hands on you.” A silky male voice hummed as hot, minty… — Flora Roberts Copy Share Image
I think I write my comedy to - a lot of it is to make my parents laugh. I want them to… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
“We know that there are many animals on this continent not found in the Old World. These must have been carried from… — Robert G. Ingersoll Copy Share Image
People don't walk around thinking of themselves as bad people. You're part of the environment that you grow up in, and there… — Jimmy Smits Copy Share Image
“Among the dragons, the prohibition against asking direct questions did not exist, and-as Harrier discovered immediately-dragons were even more outrageous gossips than… — Mercedes Lackey Copy Share Image
“Could the entire notion of finding one’s soul mate be a simple case of looking for ourselves in another body? Is the… — Dermot Davis Copy Share Image
“My name is Matt Besser, and I'm an Arkansas Razorback. My father is a Jew from Little Rock, Ark., my mother was… — Matt Besser Copy Share Image
When machines fail, when technology fails, when the conventional religion fails, people have got to have something. Even a zombin lurching through… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
Australia objects to the mini-skirt not on moral but on economic grounds. Australians are no prudes and the lovely, healthy, sporty Australian… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Dance after dance after dance, until sweat was running down my back as I worked to keep up, keep that smile on… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
“Whenever it dipped under 80 degrees, it was cause for celebration—time to write home with the news, dig my jacket out of… — Bryanna Plog Copy Share Image
White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“[...] he had his hand on your -" He put his hand at waist level behind me, without touching me. "He had… — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Like rings in a large tree trunk that had been logged and exposed, every year of her life was visible in the… — S.W. Lothian Copy Share Image
“I forgot to take off the inside lens cap cap... P.S. I quit." Dad threw off the covers and reached for his… — Frank Gilbreth Jr Copy Share Image
“Ah, never," Nicholas said, rubbing his hands together. "Such an interesting word." "You know, Your Majesty, the only reason I'm not swearing… — Lynn Kurland Copy Share Image
“The twinkling of an eye...that little incandescence you see in people when the charm of a thing strikes them, or the humor… — Marilynne Robinson Copy Share Image
“After they left the office, Peabody shoved her hands in her pockets. "These nicknames are pissing me off." "But you're not I'm-Too-Good-to-Pee-Body.… — J.D. Robb Copy Share Image
It's very hard to watch comedy for me, when I'm doing a comedy show, because I either watch a show and I… — Amy Poehler Copy Share Image
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The key to a happy marriage is myself being absent for long periods of time. My wife Leesa and I will celebrate… — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
![“[...] he had his hand on your -" He put his hand at waist level behind me, without touching me. "He had his hand on my ass?" "No," they said. "Behind your back," Rashad said. "Like you're dating or something." He put his hand behind Skip's back. Skip hit him.” quote by Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19e/jennifer-echols-943_boys_he-had-his-hand-on-your-he-put-his-hand_2561099.jpg)
