“Wait." Amber jumped up wide-eyed. "Is she a—" "A ghost " I smirked. "Amber you're a necromancer in a show about raising… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together… — Gary Gulman Copy Share Image
“Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma… — Brett Tate Copy Share Image
The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
“Nat: Maybe you broke something. Midge: I know. Never fall down, never fall down! Nat: Ah, it's nothing. I fall down every… — Herb Gardner Copy Share Image
If you're playing things sincere in a really absurd, heightened situation, you'll achieve comedy as opposed to just saying funny lines and… — Jeff Baena Copy Share Image
“Bursar?" "Yes, Archchancellor?" "You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?" "Me? No, Archchancellor." "Then it'd be a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A word says more than a thousand images. Exercises for the visually inclined: illustrate "appreciation", "humor", "software", "education", "inalienable rights", "elegance", "fact". — Erik Naggum Copy Share Image
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles,… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“Diesel sucked air. "You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you." "I'm not fondling you. I'm looking… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
It would be especially comforting to believe that I have the answer to the question, What happens when we die? Does the… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
“So you see, you have nothing to be afraid of." Oh no, thought Otto, just squads of hired goons wandering around with… — Mark Walden Copy Share Image
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Oh, go right ahead,' she replied. 'You seem to have such an affinity for canines.' 'Clearly,' he shot back, keeping his voice… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“If history teaches us anything at all, it is that sooner or later, wherever you go or whatever you do, the sad,… — Taylor Anderson Copy Share Image
There is reason to smile and celebrate when you win, but when you struggle, that is about laughter. That is the pathos… — Ronnie Apteker Copy Share Image
“You hear even a hint that a blizzard’s coming, Roxanne Giselle, you go straight to the store and buy toilet paper, you… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference. But laughing is… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
“There was more than one thing wrong with the whole story anyway. Had no one thought it remotely suspicious? Unhappy man marries… — Rachel Heffington Copy Share Image
“[...] we are on the payrolls of two dozen different companies as consultants, but we do absolutely nothing for our paychecks, just… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“This boy was so far out of my league it was embarrassing. I found myself staring at him, trying to find some… — GJ Walker-Smith Copy Share Image
“In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about… — Mark Manson Copy Share Image
Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked… — Stephen Baldwin Copy Share Image
“Yes. Unfortunately, I've become so irrevocably obsessed with the little muse that I'm surviving on the mere hope of being able to… — Rina Kent Copy Share Image
“No one really knows anything about comedy. We know a little bit about what we’re doing, but as far as the industry—the… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
“So, whether the aliens explore with chemistry or with radio waves, they might come to the same conclusion: a planet where there’s… — Neil deGrasse Tyson Copy Share Image
I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem.… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“The materialist thinks me a slave because I am not allowed to believe in determinism. I think [the materialist] a slave because… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
“But you've always used words so wordily in crafty defense of your Trinity, although He never needed such defense before you got… — Walter M. Miller Jr Copy Share Image
If you're playing a good guy, you show some darkness. If you're playing a dark guy, you show something different, like humor,… — Campbell Scott Copy Share Image
The trick, though, is to not lose compassion, to not allow the sense of absurdity to outweigh the awareness of real beings,… — Jane Hirshfield Copy Share Image
“The big kid hasn't said anything yet. 'I do like hearing myself talk,' I say, 'only because I have a lot of… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
“But you see, I am in a similar situation. I do not control the little devil sitting on my left shoulder. The… — John Green Copy Share Image
I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
But even if you're not a 'Scrubs' follower you'll still have a good time, because all the songs are recognizable and presented… — Sam Lloyd Copy Share Image
“The ceremony went by in a blur, but Mendanbar was pretty sure he hadn't made any mistakes because suddenly he was kissing… — Patricia C. Wrede Copy Share Image
I'm a nightclub comic. That's what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry. I shouldn't be working." "Of course you should. I'm alright." "Even F.I.N.E.?" She laughed. "Especially that." Fucked-up. Insecure. Neurotic. Egotistical.” — Louise Penny Copy Share Image
![“[...] we are on the payrolls of two dozen different companies as consultants, but we do absolutely nothing for our paychecks, just like normal consultants.” quote by Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10b/kevin-hearne-991_humor_we-are-on-the-payrolls-of-two-dozen-diff_1784290.jpg)
![“The materialist thinks me a slave because I am not allowed to believe in determinism. I think [the materialist] a slave because he is not allowed to believe in fairies.” quote by G.K. Chesterton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/040/g-k-chesterton-224_determinism_the-materialist-thinks-me-a-slave-becaus_687131.jpg)
