Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get… — Pete Seeger Copy Share Image
My sense of humor doesn't translate well into print, some of the things I say can be offensive or found offensive even… — Megan Fox Copy Share Image
“You can't make me do anything. I'm an adult. And I'm much stronger than you." "Upper body strength isn't everything; I have… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
“This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places... You know when you order french fries and there's… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“He touched me. We kissed and we held hands sometimes. It was proper. Do you think I should have been with him… — Ellen O'Connell Copy Share Image
I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“You know what Forrest had the nerve to do?” “Son of a bitch has the nerve to do damn near anything. That's… — Harry Turtledove Copy Share Image
“The four seasons in Australia consist of "fuck it's hot," "Can you believe how fucking hot it is?", "I won't be in… — David Thorne Copy Share Image
“Back to my apartment? The FBI is there just waiting to slap handcuffs on me." "Well then I guess you shouldn't have… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“To make a current example, the world can find human interest in the death and the love affairs and the pallid addiction… — John Albert Macy Copy Share Image
We will be looking at things like the confluence of a scene, and we still have all these creative decisions to make.… — Mitchell Hurwitz Copy Share Image
Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
“Procuring the house in Ballister was a desperate bid for respect, for recognition, the ultimate gesture (or sacrifice, as it turned out)… — Ted Gargiulo Copy Share Image
'The Whole Nine Yards' I liked right away. It was kind of a dark comedy at first. And just the idea of… — Matthew Perry Copy Share Image
What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“The prince enjoyed unusually good health even among princes; both by gymnastic exercises and by taking good care of his body he… — Leo Tolstoy Copy Share Image
It bothers me when people say 'shock comic' or 'gross-out' because that was only one type of comedy I did. There was… — Tom Green Copy Share Image
“I used to have pink hair," I told Seven. "I used to have a real job," he answered. "What happened?" He shrugged.… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
“I then swept the crumbs into my palm and opened one of the empty drawers and poured them in. I was working… — Colin Bateman Copy Share Image
People have said to me for a long time, "Man you're funny." I say, "Well, I'm quick," but being funny on purpose,… — Denzel Washington Copy Share Image
Using no control and using humor will build a relationship and make a dent to where the client puts the counselor in… — William Glasser Copy Share Image
“I mean, it's just sex. It's simple biology, right? You build up tension and stress-- you need to open a valve somewhere… — Louisa Edwards Copy Share Image
“This country," said Eliot, "had tremendous research projects devoted to fighting odors. They were supported by individual contributions given to mothers who… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Trillian did a little research in the ship's copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It had some advice to offer… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“You all right?" Chris shouted at us both. "Yes, thank you." Ramnik looked from one of us to the other, meaning it… — Jez Cajiao Copy Share Image
Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels… — Oscar W. Firkins Copy Share Image
“Rei glanced over at me and nodded. “Exactly, Dieter. Just avoid having the cattle and keep walking.” I cleared my throat. “A… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
Appeasement, said Winston Churchill, consists of being nice to a crocodile in the hope that he will eat you last. At the… — John Naughton Copy Share Image
“For I know that we laughers have a gross cousinship with the most high, and it is this contrast and perpetual quarrel… — Hilaire Belloc Copy Share Image
As I get older, I do want to add a bit more depth to my comedy. But even if I'm talking about… — Lou Sanders Copy Share Image
A lot of humour is about just enjoying life and spontaneity and because you make a joke that puts somebody down -… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“You hit me again," I said, growing oddly annoyed. "Ya think?" Evil Riggs said. Smart-ass. "Part of my brain hurts. I demand… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“HIGGINS [*snatching a chocolate cream from the piano, his eyes suddenly beginning to twinkle with mischief*] Have some chocolates, Eliza. LIZA [*halting,… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
I try not to see myself as anything, as that would be embarrassing. But if I had to label myself, I'd probably… — Matt Berry Copy Share Image
“Wow!" He uttered, not understanding why he said it. Lost for words, he decided to smile back at her, rather than appear… — Nicholas Chong Copy Share Image
If the chief party, whether it be the people, or the army, or the nobility, which you think most useful and of… — Niccolo Machiavelli Copy Share Image
I really enjoy playing that everyman part because that part is us, the audience. And you need somebody inside a comedy to… — Jason Bateman Copy Share Image
“When I got out of the movie, I had four text messages from Augustus. Tell me my copy is missing the last… — John Green Copy Share Image
![“HIGGINS [*snatching a chocolate cream from the piano, his eyes suddenly beginning to twinkle with mischief*] Have some chocolates, Eliza. LIZA [*halting, tempted*] How do I know what might be in them? I've heard of girls being drugged by the like of you. *Higgins whips out his penknife; cuts a…” quote by George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27a/george-bernard-shaw-68_bernard-shaw_higgins-snatching-a-chocolate-cream-from_2692762.png)
