What reaches an audience is honesty. If you're saying something truthful that's supposed to be a funny line, it's going to be… — Barbra Streisand Copy Share Image
I knew I didn't want to be a doctor but didn't know what I wanted to do. I prayed, and all I… — Yvonne Orji Copy Share Image
“Some people remember the sixties better than others do. Some weren't even there, some who were there were not really there, and… — Tom Hays Copy Share Image
Humor can be a great way to lift spirits and relate with soon-to-be high school grads. Whether you're in need of a… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Women are a kind of bomb where men should be trained and skilled in defusing, before falling in love.otherwise you'll spend rest… — Thenten Copy Share Image
“By protecting your nervous system and keeping you focused, laughter and play offer you opportunities to thrive even in inhospitable environments.” — Jeanne Segal Copy Share Image
“Day had gotten a little nervous during one session when the doctor asked God how he would handle someone hurting Day now… — A.E. Via Copy Share Image
A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins,… — Samuel Butler Copy Share Image
I can't say this too often - that a little humor can make life worth living. That has always been my credo.… — Bennett Cerf Copy Share Image
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“In winter this town is freezing. You step out your door in the morning and the whole place looks like one of… — Flynn Meaney Copy Share Image
I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ragtag band of misfits. I wrote… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
It's all there-the boredom, the devotion, the horror and even the humor in an industrial war fought on a global scale that… — Barrett Tillman Copy Share Image
I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion, compassion, humor, generosity, and kindness, and using these tools… — Melchor Lim Copy Share Image
“I say, sah! Sorry to trouble you to get off your big fat bottom and help a poor gel out!" "I would… — Brian Jacques Copy Share Image
I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
People come up to me as I leave the stage after a performance and tell me tey saw my mother onstage with… — Lorna Luft Copy Share Image
I was ballet dancing at four, playing piano by six, and doing commercials by 12. When I was 21, I was on… — Roselyn Sanchez Copy Share Image
When I was 14, I told my mother I was going to drop out of high school and go do stand-up comedy.… — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
“They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
“Fear and shame are the backbone of my self-control. They are my source of inspiration, my insurance against becoming entirely unacceptable. They… — Allie Brosh Copy Share Image
“It is customary to have vampires in stories nowadays - they are quite the norm, just like wicked stepmothers used to be.… — Jane De Suza Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
“When I am alone, my table manners are rather piggish, but i suppose that's because I don't eat at a table, I… — Kelli Jae Baeli Copy Share Image
“There's a reason why most men don't read romance: Romance novels are wish-fulfillment for women. The fictitious men in romance novels fall… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Wait. Are you saying what I think you're saying?' 'Ye-es.' Now that I had spilled the beans I could take on the… — André Aciman Copy Share Image
You know, if I started worrying about what the critics think, I'd never make another comedy. You couldn't pick a less funny… — Todd Phillips Copy Share Image
“Karen Owens has captured this witty little paradox in equally engaging verse: Can omniscient God, who Knows the future, find The… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
I naturally think in terms of comedy whenever I see anything because tragedy is so close to comedy, so I like to… — Amy Hill Copy Share Image
My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
“I don't know why anyone would be scared of a homeless person. The truly scary people are all the murder mystery writers.… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
“We need to get you to stop thinking of me as a friend, and start thinking of me as that incredibly hot… — Elle Parker Copy Share Image
“The princess turns to him, serious. 'You are the one my great-grandfather spoke of: a denizen of Earth wearing a dirty apron… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“There'll never be a perfect breakfast eaten until some man grows arms long enough to stretch down to New Orleans for his… — O. Henry Copy Share Image
“Try 'Thank-you'," Ted said, giving me a hug (with the requirement of pounding me fraternally on the back - the only way… — Blake Petit Copy Share Image
