She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I like more grounded comedy. I enjoy broad comedies also, but I like Shirley MacLaine. — Leslie Mann Copy Share Image
I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“Use humor as aggressively as chemo. Laugh until your hair falls out. There is nothing that can’t be played for a laugh.” — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Wayne's World' is my all time favorite comedy. I used to watch it on VHS on repeat with my brother when I… — James Lafferty Copy Share Image
“It took me several minutes to persuade myself to watch the news. During which time I gave myself a stern talking to.… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on!… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My comedy isn't about being attractive - it's about how the bar of dumb seems so low right now, and I desperately… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“I shouldn't have even been obsessing about it anyway, he probably had a girlfriend. Like a supermodel or playboy bunny or something,… — Kathey Gray Copy Share Image
Back in the late '90s, I put together a humorous newsmagazine program called 'The Awful Truth' for Bravo. We helped one guy… — Michael Moore Copy Share Image
Sometimes you'll see people give performances in comedy with an ironic detachment where they'll sort of be remarking on the character from… — Zach Woods Copy Share Image
“Once upon a time on a small, watery, excitable planet called Earth, in a small, watery, excitable country called Italy, a soft-spoken,… — Catherynne M. Valente Copy Share Image
“Yeah, Vi, unless Armageddon hit while i was fuckin' you this morning and we missed it, I'm thinkin' grocery stores still exist… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. — Rafael Sabatini Copy Share Image
