“It’s adult swim time and I’m diving in here at the shallow end.” — Suzanne Finnamore Copy Share Image
“Your ancient enemy is basically just a really, really big squirrel” — Sebastien de Castell Copy Share Image
“PJ's suggested chant, for pointless protest marches: "Five, four, three, two. We don't have a doggone clue!” — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
I would much rather watch a horror film or science fiction than a comedy. I don't know why. I just like them.… — Moon Bloodgood Copy Share Image
I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Focus. She’s Maddie. Your friend. Would you eyeball Keith or Dane’s butt like that? ~ Zach” — Monique DeVere Copy Share Image
I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!" — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I hear you’re single now.” Aaron gave a white-toothed smile and tossed his hair. “Where did you hear that?” Scarlet cocked her… — Chelsea Fine Copy Share Image
That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I've always been a fan of comedy, and I understood from a young age that what makes most comedy work is the… — Kevin Keck Copy Share Image
Self-esteem is for sissies. Accept that you're a pimple and try to keep a lively sense of humor about it. That way… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
At Temple University, and I'm sure this was the way in a lot of film classes, comedy was not an option, and… — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
“[Rayleen talking to Billy.] "Grace is thriving here, and I dare anybody to challenge that. Anybody who has a problem with that… — Catherine Ryan Hyde Copy Share Image
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like,… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“OK.Now, I may be engaged, but I'm not going to get carried away.” — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
“You might be surrounded by clouds, but you'll be like sunshine to me.” — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
![“[Rayleen talking to Billy.] "Grace is thriving here, and I dare anybody to challenge that. Anybody who has a problem with that can come take it up with me." "Thank God," Billy said, "because I really hate it when people come take things up with ME.” quote by Catherine Ryan Hyde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/511/catherine-ryan-hyde-2597_grace_rayleen-talking-to-billy-grace-is-thrivi_1683626.png)
