Humor Quotes · Page 127

I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".

— Steven Wright

“Say it, woman." "It. Woman." "God, you're a pain.”

— Kristan Higgins

I wanted to do something in the style of a comedy of manners.

— Amy Heckerling

“A volte il fumo è meglio dell'arrosto”

— Freak Antoni

“this isn't so much romance as it is opportunity [victor mancini]”

— Chuck Palahniuk

My humor was Victorian - and still is.

— Mort Sahl

I did sketch comedy for years. I've always enjoyed it.

— Jamie Farr

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement”

— Jess C Scott

In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.

— Ray Romano

Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.

— Anonymous

I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'

— Demetri Martin

It's not always easy to go from funny on the page to funny on the screen.

— Eddie Griffin

“The conversation had been so lacking in quality that it actually made Toddlers and Tiaras look like good entertainment by comparison.”

— Sorin Suciu

I get frustrated by the fact that comics go on stage with some kind of agenda beyond comedy - I'm not sure…

— Andrew Lawrence

“Say that with a sword in your hand, Frey," the small man snarled. "Or do you only fight with smears of shit”

— George R.R. Martin

“His voice... my nipples are like tuning forks responding to that pitch – that purrrrr.”

— Poppet

“And I am always flattered," Rusty continued, "but I love my sister. Not in an 'I love my sister and I want…

— Sarah Rees Brennan

Comedy can't live within my second-guesses, so I started doing new material. Sometimes I bombed. But you have to be willing to…

— Sarah Silverman

“Mrs Loudon was even more successful than her husband thanks to a single work, Practical Instructions in Gardening for Ladies, published in…

— Bill Bryson

“In seeking to severely penalize criminals society by putting the criminals away behind safe walls actually provide them with the means of…

— Jack Kerouac

Though not really a comedy, 'Rosewater' is a demonstration of the creed behind 'The Daily Show': belief in the crucial need for…

— Richard Corliss

“Come on, Eden, don't be naive. Demonic children are a dime a dozen in Netherworld. Need I mention Children of the Corn?…

— Michelle Rowen

Those are my influences, really. Old movies. A lot of people ask who your comedic influences growing up were, but I don't…

— Cole Escola

“William slapped him on the shoulder, sending Sex into rapturous convulsions. “Before we do this, I’ve got one question for you. And…

— Gena Showalter

“They are the Eggheads. He is the Walrus.”

— Salman Rushdie

“Love and hate when stretched to their extremes blind reasoning.”

— Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

— Candice Bergen

I think Georges Feydeau said comedy is just tragedy speeded up.

— Emily Mortimer

That's the nature of research you don't know what in hell you're doing.

— Harold Eugene Edgerton

I dnt understand why people dnt have a fucking sense of humor .

— Nathaniel Aveyro

“All great men are dead, and I'm not feeling too well myself”

— Mark Twain

I'm a big comedy fan, and a fan of films.

— Dan Scanlon

Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.

— Stephen Colbert

Comedy. I think that's something I'd really like to do.

— David R. Ellis

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

— Steve Martin

Rod has such a wicked sense of humour. I loved him very much.

— Rachel Hunter

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

— George Carlin

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

— Max Eastman

The malicious sneer is improperly called laughter.

— Oliver Goldsmith

It's a young man's game - standup comedy.

— Bradley Walsh