The cure for aids could be written somewhere in the Terms and Conditions, and we would never know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pumpkin Spice Lattes are to college girls; what mini-shooters of whiskey are to alcoholics. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're talking about me behind my back, you're in the perfect position to kiss my ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have always suspected skim milk was gay. For god's sake, it has homogenized right on the carton. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Being with her can prove difficult, but life without her would be unbearable.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Are all of Taylor Swifts songs about the same guy, or is she just a whore? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Adding 'and shit' to the end of any sentence makes it sound cooler and shit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The earth rests on three whales: On the deeds of heroes. On the prayers of believers. On the toasts of drunkards.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why periods? Why can't Mother Nature just text me and be like, 'Whaddup girl? You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We'd better get. But y'all have a nice night,' I say. Apparently, fear turns me Texan. A startling personality insight that I'll… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You came after me. Against the geas , you came after me.” He felt the shifting of muscle behind him as Bloodraven… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I let the phone ring instead of rejecting the call because I dont want the person to know I'm ignoring them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women and Washing Machines are similar in a way, you have to use your hands in their absence. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When times are troubled, SMILE. When disaster threatens, LAUGH. When asked your age, LIE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If laying in my bed for the rest of the day is wrong, then I don't want to be right. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Mitt Romney wins this years election, I volunteer as tribute for the Hunger Games. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The whole world came crashing down on me, so I got some tape and stuck the map back onto the wall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when people think theyre funny but they are just annoying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job...slowly raise your head and say 'In Jesus name, amen.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... Nice ass! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For the girls that tell you all guys are the same, nobody told you to try them all out... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Not every man who courts you, loves you. Some are just testing your stupidity! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are so many scams on the Internet now...Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
![“Applaud my friends, the comedy is over... [on his death bed]” quote by Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b29/anonymous-1_bed_applaud-my-friends-the-comedy-is-over-on_2053617.jpg)
