“I break into heterosexual houses so I can masturbate in their heterosexual kitchens” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Depression is like slashing at ghosts. Of course it's tempting to finally cut something real. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“I'm not really like a cop at all. I haven't got any actual authority. If someone does show up to do anything bad, I… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“We'll wake up every day and we'll tell ourselves, "Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near.” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“She wears glasses that are not too small. I wish I was a girl like that. I wear contact lenses because glasses make me… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Death is not the end. Death is an ocean on all sides of our lives. Deep and dark and cold, and anything but empty. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Dear Nintendo, We need a new Mario game, where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest of the… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Satellite images, maps and blueprints of the whole world, of every city. We could look it up and know what's there in someone else's… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“There is no subtle way to mention you miss the curve of someone’s ass. ” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
