Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Knighterrantry is a most chuckleheaded trade, and it is tedious hard work, too, but I begin to see that there is money… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The easy part of being an artist is figuring out the message that everyone else is ready to hear. The hard part… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whatever you have lived, you can write & by hard work & a genuine apprenticeship, you can learn to write well; but… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The observance of Thanksgiving Day-as a function-has become general of late years. The Thankfulness is not so general. This is natural. Two-thirds… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
So you see, the quality of humor is not a personal or a national monopoly. It's as free as salvation, and, I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
