“The spirits of your dead ancestors are watching you masturbate.” — Whiskey Britches Copy Share Image
“The news is just the story of the same thing happening to different people.” — Whiskey Britches Copy Share Image
“Self-preservation is a biological imperative even in the lowest of life forms, but annoyance is a trait exclusive to the most deviant.” — Whiskey Britches Copy Share Image
“The Internet has proven to me that the human herd is every bit as indelicately bovine in its imagination as in its appetites.” — Whiskey Britches Copy Share Image
“I'm so bitter right now that if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse showed up I'd give them directions.” — Whiskey Britches Copy Share Image
