Congratulations on still somehow not being a mother despite your astonishing sexual promiscuity. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Hand Sanitizer, Thanks For Letting Me Know I Have A Cut On My Hand. From, My Hand In On Fire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I'm home alone and my power goes out... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's go see a movie about a teenage girl's decision between necrophilia and bestiality. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Drinking this bottle will give you the power to FLY IN YOUR SOCKS, MOONWALK ON WATER & SURF GREAT WHITES WITHOUT A… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the difference between the IQ of a stupid guy and one of a mosquito? About 5 points. How do you even… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Okayy, I feel like I'm blowing up your newsfeed with things from my summer bucket list. Sorry! I'm done for now:P hahaha — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: Where is your book? Student: At home. Teacher: What's it doing there? Student: Having more fun than me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how we do nice things for people and nobody ever notice it. But once we make only one mistake, they'll… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Went to This Weird Store haha were Nutella was only $1.79 And at Wal-mart its like 4 dollars a jar! so I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You think I'm shy and boring & you don't like me because of that but I don't really care. You just don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
