Funny Quotes by Amit Verma

Mouth is so dry like a nuns vag

— Amit Verma

Me: hey White girl: you're*

— Amit Verma

Girls love to fish,

— Amit Verma

Mistake 1: being the fastest sperm

— Amit Verma

I'd beat you up, but that might be considered animal abuse

— Amit Verma

Girl r u a shoelace because u need to knot

— Amit Verma

RIP to all the dead nintendogs who haven't been fed since like 2008

— Amit Verma

Your mom is like a mosquito because when I slapped her she stopped sucking.

— Amit Verma

Wow the last time I saw something like you, I flushed it

— Amit Verma

No matter how funny you are, If I don't like you, I won't laugh.

— Amit Verma

Being the 1% of the population that doesn't receive a cute morning text.

— Amit Verma

Still a better love story than twilight

— Amit Verma

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought voldemort was ugly, But then I saw you.

— Amit Verma

My girlfriend said your cock is so small... I said a Motor Home is HUGE... Until you park it in the Grand…

— Amit Verma

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and an abortion? I'd pay to see an abortion.

— Amit Verma

A lady once called 911 because her local McDonalds had ran out of McNuggets.

— Amit Verma

You can make literally anything sound sexual just by whispering it. the dishes are dirty

— Amit Verma

Some People just need a high five . in the face. with a chair , twice from hulk on adrenaline rush.

— Amit Verma

Why tell social networking sites that you're on your period? Nobody cares if your uterus lining is leaving your body

— Amit Verma

10 year old's have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Facebook... When I was 10, I felt cool with my new markers.

— Amit Verma

A serious warning to all my friends. drinking & driving is extremely dangerous . Sunday evening while driving, My friend took his…

— Amit Verma

Condoms And Hearts When Either One Breaks, Shit Gets R E A L!!

— Amit Verma

We are never getting back together is actually about taylor swift's legs.

— Amit Verma

A nuclear war is better love story then twilight

— Amit Verma

Coffee has two virtues: it is wet and warm. ;)

— Amit Verma

Overprotective parents raise the best liars.

— Amit Verma

Women always say all men want is sex… That's a lie. We want head too.

— Amit Verma

Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.

— Amit Verma

Confidence, self respect, humility, my dick, patience, honesty and loyalty are few of the qualities I want in a woman.

— Amit Verma

Parent: Why don't you come socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Me: *goes back…

— Amit Verma

Asian Pregnancy Test: Insert Rubix Cube into the vagina and pull it out thirty seconds later. If it is solved, you're pregnant.

— Amit Verma

For those who know nothing about how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word…

— Amit Verma

The faster a girl mentions that she has a boyfriend, the more creeped out she is by you. :D :D

— Amit Verma

That awkward moment when your mom compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than…

— Amit Verma

You know its going to be a great story when it starts off with, So this BITCH...

— Amit Verma

My girlfriend says I can't focus on two things at once...guess she hasn't noticed me staring at her boobs

— Amit Verma

A Baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3AM. And you're homealone, and you…

— Amit Verma

If I had my life to live over again, Id be a plumber. ~ Albert Einstein . He'd been inspired by porn for sure.

— Amit Verma

Right now you have 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support, and you're scrolling with your thumb.

— Amit Verma

Females will argue with you for 30mins , then be like I ain't even gonna argue with you.

— Amit Verma