A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Throughout their lives, women try to pummel their bodies into some phantom ideal shape that exists only with a lot of airbrushing. ... I… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Here is Heimel's Law: Anything you fantasize about won't come true. So just cut it out. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
We have no faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
“Prune these alleged friends ruthlessly from your life. You need all the positive reinforcement you can get. You need friends who think you're fabulous,… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
There is one thing that humans strive for with every cell, every gene, every nerve fiber of our beings. ... More than Mallomars, more… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Men, being conditioned badly, are always feeling nooses closing around their necks, even dumpy boors no girl would take on a bet. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
![“[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.” quote by Cynthia Heimel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5aa/cynthia-heimel-10285_baby_on-peanut-m-ms-it-is-the-eggness-of-them_613566.jpg)
