Ladies, If your man is telling, you are so cute & funny, Tell him you are on periods & see the PMS… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I might not live forever...so love me while you can..kiss me like its my last breathe, and tell me goodbye like you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing about Facebook is writing a quote and putting a random name at the end, people will still believe it~Abraham… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when someone says something to you for the fifth time and you still dont know what they said. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you turn the page and realize that you have no idea what you just read — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear 12 year olds on Facebook, how are you in a complicated relationship?! Did they steal your cookies? — Christine Ramkran Copy Share Image
Just let me know if there's anything I can do this month to further the cause of healthy breasts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear inventors of Tampons, How awkward was it for you to explain your invention to everyone? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
1.Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications. — Becca Copy Share Image
May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As bored as someone sitting in a weird pub watching the landlord's cat licking its knob. — Sparki Dee Copy Share Image
Nothing breaks my heart like not getting comments on my funny status...women are even better than that. — Thabang Tshabalala Copy Share Image
I called my dad to tell him I was gonna quit drinking and he told me don't be a quitter!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes you follow the rules, sometimes you break the rules, and sometimes, if you're lucky…you MAKE the rules!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Police have special ability from an ice. Whenever police say 'FREEZE!!' all people that they want will frozen — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do not cry for those who hurt you, this way you're making them successful, smile and be the winner. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Johnny asks grandpa: Do you still have sex with granny? Grandpa says: Yes, but only oral. Johnny asks: What is oral? Grandpa… — Daniel Vargas Copy Share Image
For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post… — Stephanie Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't know why they call it a Walk of Shame. You just had sex last night and now everyone knows it.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people don't have the vision to want what they could have, but would rather settle for what's close by. — Adar Burks Copy Share Image
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just need a day off, from reality, just a day without people, problems, and all the bullshit that runs through my… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I was in highschool,Its all good when I have a failing grades.. as long as my friends have a failing grades… — Antoinette Ysrael Copy Share Image
Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Foursquare asks where I am. The internet has turned into a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
LOL girls are DUMB. if you cheated on your boyfriend.. you basically became a downgrade. and don't expect to find someone better.… — Armin Ferizovic Copy Share Image
I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, Family Jewels. Or as it's known in the business, 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
