Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 41

Forever Alone; When you play 'rock, paper, sissers' by your self!

— Anonymous

Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play

— Hussein Nishah

I hate when a people ask u money and they already own you money

— IG:catone_2_funny

Man who buy drowned cat, must pay for stinking wet pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I missed your call, please send a text that says I called you.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist.

— Nikhil Saluja

Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

My sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think I'm stupid.

— Nikhil Saluja

Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

— Hussein Nishah

When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm really sorry I offended you when I called you a slut. I honestly had no idea you it was a secret.

— Pretty Ladii

Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

— Nikhil Saluja

A man post a status onto his wall, ''tonight I'm gonna sleep in terrace'' 55 mosquitos likes

— Anonymous

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have…

— Anonymous

Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.

— Anonymous

Three Things to Prevent... Laziness, Falsehood and Slander.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never argue with an idiot. People watching won't be able to tell the difference

— Anonymous

People on a diet should have a salad dressing called 250 Islands.

— Nikhil Saluja

After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.

— Anonymous

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

— Nikhil Saluja

If Mitt Romney wins this years election, I volunteer as tribute for the Hunger Games.

— Anonymous

Happy Birthday! Aww, you remembered my birthday?! NO, Facebook told me.

— Pretty Ladii

If U don't hear from me in a few days, then Just Know Am having Brain Upgrade.

— Anonymous

A part of us remains where ever we have been.

— Nikhil Saluja

Like My Status and will post on your wall of what kind of candy you remind me of.

— Jacob Hadley

I used to be a knife-sharpener but I couldn't stand the daily grind.

— Nikhil Saluja

Going to Mcdonalds for salad is like going to a whore for a hug.

— Anonymous

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

— Nikhil Saluja

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

— Anonymous

Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not sexist. Some of my twitter friends are cunts.

— Nikhil Saluja

That's a nice quote you put as your status... what website you got that one from?

— Keano Brin

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already

— Hussein Nishah

I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon.

— Anonymous

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.

— Anonymous

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 3 and 80, Man is like North Korea: Ruled by nuts'

— Nikhil Saluja

You can't be a little bit unfaithful any more than you can be a little bit pregnant.

— Nikhil Saluja