Your ass is like a wallet without cash, jeans without pockets... flat and useless. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That painful moment when the roof of your mouth gets stabbed by a Dorito. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday. — Nishan Singh Copy Share Image
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance. Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair. Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage. Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I talks broken English , writes grammatically wrong English . Who cares ? I'm proud to be Malaysian since forever ! — TheTowraMowra Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Charging your phone 5 minutes before you leave, because you think it will make a difference. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When teaching your foreign girlfriend the english alphabet,its only fair you start by giving her the d — Chad Houston Copy Share Image
This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket…so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Weekends are like an orgasm: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time ._. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a disorder where I stay up all night and eat ... Its called insom-nom-nom-nia — Anonymous Copy Share Image
R.I.P LeBron James Ringless Jokes 2003-2012 But, Welcome Hairline Jokes 2003-FOREVER — Kiana JWilson Copy Share Image
Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't be alarmed if I call you a whore d'oeuvre...it just means you look tasty hoe! — Nicole Hill Copy Share Image
Hey I just f%cked you, and this is crazy. The condom broke, so here's your baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex, most women are like the government. All talk, no action. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can Take the Country of Of The Word but You cant take Country out Of the Girl — Victoria Jones Copy Share Image
I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Music, Sleep, Sex, and video games are the most effective stress relievers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you wanna know something, ask me. Don't assume. That's how drama starts. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Even if women came with Terms & Conditions, you still wouldnt read them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that is where I hang them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
