Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 38

Stress here, stress there, stress everywhere.

— Joantonette Morano

Love Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've given up trying to escape from reality..they always find me anyway!..

— Anonymous

Being such a good cook that even the fire alarm cheers you on.

— Anonymous

Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always start my diet on the same day. Tommorow!

— Nikhil Saluja

You'll have to speak up... I'm wearing a towel.

— Anonymous

Facebook helps me to connect with 99 enemies and 1 pal……

— Pratik Sharma

The other day a girl wearing a shirt that says I'm just waiting for a better day so I Smooched her &…

— Nikhil Saluja

Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...

— Anonymous

Why do porn sites have a Share To Facebook button??? Who watches porn and thinks, You kno who would really enjoy this????…

— Kevin McCarty

You claim to be a bad bitch, yet you have no car, no house, and no job. You're not a bad bitch,…

— SandraB

I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'

— Anonymous

People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

That awkward moment, when your phone goes off, when yournot suppose to have it on, or with you at all.

— Syoung

When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everyone makes mistakes, just like your parents did! ;o

— Zendy

Mean people suck, come over here and show me how mean you can be.

— Anonymous

My relationship is like an iPad; I don't have an iPad.

— Anonymous

Some people should have two Facebook accounts. One for each face.

— Cuts And Scars

We used to live our life with Internet and now we live in Internet with our life

— Ritu Ghatourey

If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved.

— Anonymous

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja

When I read a fashion magazine, I don't actually read it. I just scan..

— Anonymous

Window: What I hope to do when I go to Las Vegas

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

— Anonymous

Relationships can end, if you stop doing what you did at the beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

Once upon a time there was a girl who no longer gave a f*ck.. The End

— Anonymous

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies

— Hussein Nishah

I am done with this relationship, I declare u 'single n searching'.

— Unkown

I'm organizing a baby shower for my girlfriend. She's a midget.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dealing with assholes is a perfect timepass.

— Nikhil Saluja

Im not getting older, Im just becoming a classic

— Hussein Nishah

If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...

— Anonymous

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide. lol.

— MoCHY

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :) :o

— Mac

Why Tweet on Twitter when you can Fook on Facebook!

— Desmond Fouche

LOVE, TRUE, marrying a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job

— Nikhil Saluja

I used to sleep at night, but then I found facebook

— Ritu Ghatourey

I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".

— Anonymous