Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That's a nice quote you put as your status... what website you got that one from? — Keano Brin Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you wake up from a 5 minute nap and have no idea what day, month or year it is. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
If you friend request me on facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you're a transformer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Looking at my last summer pics & seeing how much weight I've gained has inspired me to make a resolution this summer… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Looking at all the chances I was too afraid to take and the people I was too scared to admit my feelings… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a woman says there in a relationship there friends are like text me I want to hear all about him.. Guys… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
You can't be a little bit unfaithful any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Mitt Romney wins this years election, I volunteer as tribute for the Hunger Games. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Birthday! Aww, you remembered my birthday?! NO, Facebook told me. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
If U don't hear from me in a few days, then Just Know Am having Brain Upgrade. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Like My Status and will post on your wall of what kind of candy you remind me of. — Jacob Hadley Copy Share Image
I used to be a knife-sharpener but I couldn't stand the daily grind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Never argue with an idiot. People watching won't be able to tell the difference — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex, most women are like the government. All talk, no action. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hey I just f%cked you, and this is crazy. The condom broke, so here's your baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can Take the Country of Of The Word but You cant take Country out Of the Girl — Victoria Jones Copy Share Image
I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
