A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I look at her boobs, and she looks at my dick, and that's when I realize the best things in life are… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Are we celebrating the fact that Guy Fawkes got caught trying to blow up parliament or he tried to have a go… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Awkward moment when you are chatting with someone you like but triangle disturb it; until you type some superstitious word, and they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE LETTERS, correspondence that should always bear the salutation: My Dearest, and Gentlemen of the Jury; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No, leave that bra on. 'Coz I'm gonna fuck your boobies right out of it. is a romantic thing to say right… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I'm almost done banging a chick I hear the Mortal Kombat voice in my head FINISH HER — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been divorced twice, at 33, at least I'm a successful failure! — Desmond Fouche Copy Share Image
I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I dont give a flying fish what the teacher says JESUS is always the answer... — Some Genius Copy Share Image
I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't you hate when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything? — Nishan Singh Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Lmaooo You Got BIGGG Boobs & NO Butt. . . . . You Look Like The Letter P — Jason Santana Copy Share Image
Officer to drunk boy : How high are you? Drunk Boy: No officer, its Hi! How are you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
