IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT AND I'M AT HOME ON FACEBOOK DON'T LAUGH SO ARE YOU... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a girl says have fun She means have a horrible time without me. Not true... Maybe! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've never killed an unfollower but I should definitely take a shot at it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Changing your entire message because you don't know how to spell one word!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That one annoying relative who comments on everything you do on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sign in a vegetarian restaurant: All we are saying is give peas a chance. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, you say BRB Shower and never come back? Please tell me how much your water bill is. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
The blonde raced across the cookie package because the instructions said, Tear along dotted line. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Theres a lot of fishes in da ocean...I know!.. But ur one of those DORKY FISH I cant afford to LET GO...… — Joanne Lobedica Copy Share Image
I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Going to the toy store, pressing the 'TRY ME' button on a toy and it wont stop...So you just awkwardly walk away… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook needs a In a relationship with ______ while I'm flirting with ______ while I still have feelings for ______ while I'm fucking ______ button.. Smh. — Emilio Vasquez Copy Share Image
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Yo mama's so stupid that she rubbed j!zz all over her face thinking it was Olay. — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
If you think you're having a bad day just picture a T-Rex trying to masturbate. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some of the best and worst lies Ive ever told are excuses for why Im late. — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*Follows Dreams* *Wait for few hours* *Dreams dont follow back* *Unfollows dreams* — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in b*tches. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taking subtle shots at someone on Facebook and acting cool to their face=bitch move — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
![“Theres a lot of fishes in da ocean...I know!.. But ur one of those DORKY FISH I cant afford to LET GO... ¢ [fishy imma make U grow & cook U afterwards...]” quote by Joanne Lobedica](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e65/joanne-lobedica-4284_clever-facebook-stat_theres-a-lot-of-fishes-in-da-ocean-i-kno_398420.jpg)
