If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow. — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I know a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Days and nights have passed away yet the thought of you still occupy the whole of my heart . I never forget… — Winford Copy Share Image
Love is a perky lil elf dancing a merry lil jig and then,suddenly, he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Myspace is my ex husband, Facebook is my baby daddy, Twitter is my ho and I'm in a serious relationship with Instagram. — Ambri Bright Copy Share Image
I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's perfectly legal to be stupid at times but some people just completely take advantage. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you predict the end of the world and nothing happens :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to let go even if it's the hardest thing to do. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That Rebecca Black moment when you get on the bus & don't know which seat to take. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
Crisis: When dinner is ready, I CRISIS, and my sister comes running. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
