You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a girl says have fun She means have a horrible time without me. Not true... Maybe! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've never killed an unfollower but I should definitely take a shot at it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sign in a vegetarian restaurant: All we are saying is give peas a chance. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The blonde raced across the cookie package because the instructions said, Tear along dotted line. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t feel good, and I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I got a fortune cookie today. It said I should invest in something fun on four wheels. I don't know if that… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um...… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute. But when you mess up a GIRL'S hair... I hope you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's not a day that don't go by that I don't thank God for waking me up to enjoy life and appreciate… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
