“Dan is my ordinary friend. Everybody should have at least one ordinary friend and Dan is as ordinary as they come. He is so ordinary that most people have to meet him six or seven times before they remember his… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Murphy's face went through several mutations as he spoke, as if small animals were scurrying about just beneath his skin.” — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Dear Miz Fitz, My boyfriend is superhot so a lot of girls think up reasons to talk to him. It drives me... ...Out of… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
We connect through our dreams. Like we could be a thousand miles apart and I'd still know you were there. — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“People in groups are like sheep. Like, when your very best friend is surrounded by other people, she cares more about what everybody else… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Guys have four personalities: the one they use with their parents, the one they use around other adults, the one they use for talking… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Do they really think that attending mass will make them better, or happier, or save them from an eternity of hellfire? Maybe they do.… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
Later it might see moronic, but at that time it all made perfect sense. — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“He's kinda shy. Maybe I should ask him out." "I think it's more traditional for you to trick him into asking you out. That… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“...TV was entertainment of the last resort. There was nothing on during the day in the summer other than game shows and soap operas.… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“I didn't know what to say, but one thing was for sure: The Bank of Ted was closed.” — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
Yes, books are dangerous. They should be dangerous - they contain ideas. — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
“Anyway, the reason I hate communion isn't the meat-eating component. I get hungry enough, I'll eat anything. The reason I hate it is because… — Pete Hautman Copy Share Image
