In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him… — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
“We tiptoe around like we’re the Frank family and the Gestapo is downstairs. The baby monitor is in our room, and the unspoken rule is that when the kids go down, so do we. So at seven P.M., I’m in bed waiting for the sandman to come. I can’t watch TV, because the noise may wake up the kids; I… — Billy Crystal Copy Share
I'd like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life. — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again. — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
The house smelled of brisket and bourbon. That's the music I grew up on. — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the… — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
I think when I feel I'm at my best is when I'm on stage, and it's my version of jazz because it's just riffing… — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
What's so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you're constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that. — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
Those are all real things that I experienced, not with [my daughters] growing up but with the, you know - I'm trying not to step into something and get a call, "Dad why'd you say that?"! But we'd go to games [where score wasn't kept], and I'd get it, but I wouldn't get it, because I think there's a real… — Billy Crystal Copy Share
