Some men are like a church-organ -- you can play on them for a lifetime and always find new harmonies; others are… — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
After thirty-five a man begins to have thoughts about women; before that he has feelings. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
A woman, like a cross-eyed man, looks one way, but goes another--hence her mysteriousness. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
Religion often gets credit for curing rascals when old age is the real medicine. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
We must be laid like a brand in the fire ... if we would gain immortal youth. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
If you snub Conscience a few times she will cut your acquaintance. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
Charity is the only lubricant that keeps the axle of the world creaking. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
