I'm not a big fan of comedy roasts because most of the time I find them to be really mean, but once… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't have a massive fan base. I don't have Patton Oswalt numbers, but the fan base I have is incredibly generous,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first.… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
